"...is in a relationship" with Social Media

Where it Started

    My social media relationship started pretty early on, I believe I was in fifth or sixth grade when I started interacting with my first forms of social media. This was before the bigger social media websites had even came into existence. It started on a website called Matmice. It was a simple homepage you could customize and you could write one small box about yourself. You could add graphics with basic HTML but nothing as formal as your adding own pictures or even sending messages to people. Now that I think about it, it was more similar to blogging because people could comment at the end of your homepage. 

    Once Matmice closed down, I started moving on to chat rooms. Some I cannot remember the names of but I do remember IMVU and Yahoo! Messenger. You could chat with so many people from anywhere and could do it anonymously too.  After that came the big one - Myspace. You could browse through so many profiles of individuals you may know or not know, send direct messages and chats, customize a profile page with graphics, music, create photo albums, and share status updates that your friends would see on their homepage as soon as they log in. I would chat with my friends for hours at night on Myspace and spend hours looking at random profiles to see how cool their profile page looked and browsing for new music.

"Peaked in High School"

    Myspace stayed big for a couple years until Facebook took over. Facebook, to me, was Myspace with less personality. You could still add status updates for friends to see in their feed, post photos, and chat but customizing a personal profile with as much creative freedom that Myspace allowed was non-existent. Still, it was more popular, so I moved to it like everyone else did. I had just started high school at this point and was eager to socialize as most teenagers do. It came to a point I was adding everyone as a friend so they could view my profile and chat, including people I did not know. It got to the point where on school nights and weekends I would be up in the a.m. hours talking to people. I had so many "friends" I had added that I had constant updates and forms of media shoved on my news feed that I could just scroll and consume. I had so many "friends" that I did not see what my actual real-life friends and family were posting due to all these stranger's posts on my feed. Towards the end of my high school career I reflected on how much of myself and my life was I really ok with strangers having access to. After that reflection I deleted everyone I did not know.

    You think it would get better, right? Actually, it got worse for me and my mental health. Now I could see what my friends and family members were posting and how they felt. To my disappointment, a lot of my family members I ended up finding out are very hateful individuals. I wanted to use social media to keep in touch, I wanted to use it to see updates of people I care about. But instead, I was seeing these negative feelings and thoughts they secretly harbored. It turned into me ended up depressed and disappointed any time I logged on to Facebook. I began distancing myself from that form of social media soon after high school.

    In undergrad, I would hear warnings of people going into the workforce and not getting hired because a company found some thing they deemed "unprofessional" on their social media profile. I remembered how much I would share and post while I was young, out of fear I became obsessed with completely deleting every little bit of my past posts and deleting any pages that I "liked" so that way employers would not find any petty reason to turn me away. My Facebook profile is still up but I only check in minimally to only post major life updates. 

Current Status

    In my adult years, I tried Twitter for a few months which is a social media site that allows users to post and share short messages, photos, videos, or links, and are limited to 140 characters in length. There was too much fighting and negativity every where I looked, I would often leave the app stressed out. This made the decision to delete my profile very easy. Next social media I joined was Instagram. It allows users to share photos and videos (and use of optional editing filters to put over the media) with friends. I never hit an obsession point with it but I do enjoy seeing my friends lives through pictures and I post monthly and still use it today. Next, I downloaded Snapchat which allows users to take a picture or video, add filters or other effects, and share it with friends. Once viewed by the friend, the media automatically deletes. I have never used this app much but do still have it. I like playing around with the photo filters and mostly use it if I am on vacation and want to send some quick pictures to my friends. 

    Finally, with the pandemic came the creation that is by far my favorite social media to this day. I spend hours and hours weekly on it and I absorb all kinds of content. I even have folders organizing the types of content I get, such as folders for new recipes, home decorating, traveling, restaurants, shopping, music, beauty, funny animal videos, and more. The powerhouse that is known as TikTok. This social media allows users to create, share, and watch short videos. I have posted on it a few times and a video of my failed attempt at making a Kirby pizza go viral with over 3.1 million views.

@xx_pumpkin.chai_xx Making pizza with da siblings. Idek. 😀 #Kirby #kirbypizza #wetried #nailedit #sleepparalysisdemon #nightmarefuel ♬ Cupid (Twin Version) - FIFTY FIFTY

video by author

    As much as I love this platform, I have once again let social media consume me. This one is by far the most excessive. It brings me so much joy watching humorous videos and I use it to benefit me positively by finding new, creative ideas for work and even meditation/mindfulness. However, I also use it as a means of escapism. Which I think is ok in small doses, my problem is I usually do not want to return back to reality and face the fact that I wasted and entire evening staring at a phone when I had other plans. My plan is to get in control and manage my use of this technology. I would like to establish time boundaries and even use of timers to halt my use of the app. Because when used appropriately and not in a binging matter, this form of social media can provide myself with many benefits. Both for my entertainment and references for real-life inspiration.